A Seasonal Ditty
(with apologies to David’s city)

by “Carol”

Once in rural Cambridge county
Stood a lowly tractor shed
Where some Ramblers laid their rucksacks,
Sheltering from the storm o’erhead.
Down it came, the heav’nly rain.
Walkers moaned, “Oh, not again!”

In a while the rain was easing.
Leader said, “It’s time to go.
Forecast’s bad and so I reason
Let’s get back before the snow.”
Feeling poor, and meek and lowly
Through the mud they all trudged slowly.

When at last they reached their vehicles
Wet and weary, full of woe
Lunchtime sandwich (cheese and pickles)
Seemed an awful time ago.
Quickly homeward some did scamper,
Keen to broach their Christmas hamper.

Others, true to their tradition,
Went into the nearest pub.
Theirs was quite a serious mission
To imbibe some liquid grub.
But with horror, eyes gaped wider -
No real ale, just lager and cider.

Ah, Man!

A Christmas Rambling Tale

 by “Carol”

While Ramblers ate their lunch one day
All seated on the ground
The leader said, “I’ve lost my map.”
And panic spread around.

“Fear not” said he, for mighty dread
Had seized their troubled minds.
“This navigation’s not so hard.
The way I’ll surely find.”

Thus spake the genius and forthwith
Up stood this shining throng
Of acolytes who packed their bags
To follow him along.

“We’ll stick to basics now” he said,
“No need for GPS.
The noon-day sun is on our left
So we are walking west.”

All glory be to Him in front,
But one was not at peace
“The evening’s drawing on and I
Forgot to bring my fleece.”

Still on they plodded but, as yet,
No destination showed.
Then, after cresting one more hill,
They came upon a road.

A car appeared, the driver keen
To help with their perplexion.
“The place you want’s the other way.
You’re in the wrong direction.”

“Alas!” he wailed, “I now can see
The reason for my failure.
Of course, the sun’s the other side.
We’re walking in Australia.”

 A Recently Re-discovered Traditional Mud Shanty

 What shall we do with a drunken Rambler?
What shall we do with a drunken Rambler?
What shall we do with a drunken Rambler?
Early in the morning.

Way-hey and on with rucksacks
Way-hey and on with rucksacks
Way-hey and on with rucksacks
Early in the morning.

Turn his map upside down and lose him
Turn his map upside down and lose him
Turn his map upside down and lose him
Early in the morning.

Way-hey and on with rucksacks
Way-hey and on with rucksacks
Way-hey and on with rucksacks
Early in the morning.

Tie his boots together and watch him fall down
Tie his boots together and watch him fall down
Tie his boots together and watch him fall down
Early in the morning.

Way-hey and on with rucksacks
Way-hey and on with rucksacks
Way-hey and on with rucksacks
Early in the morning.

Pierce his water bottle so he gets a soaking
Pierce his water bottle so he gets a soaking
Pierce his water bottle so he gets a soaking
Early in the morning.

Way-hey and on with rucksacks
Way-hey and on with rucksacks
Way-hey and on with rucksacks
Early in the morning.

Put him on committee and make him chairman
Put him on committee and make him chairman
Put him on committee and make him chairman
Early in the morning.

Way-hey and on with rucksacks
Way-hey and on with rucksacks
Way-hey and on with rucksacks
Early in the morning.

Shove him to the front and make him lead us
Shove him to the front and make him lead us
Shove him to the front and make him lead us
Early in the morning.

Way-hey and on with rucksacks
Way-hey and on with rucksacks
Way-hey and on with rucksacks
Early in the morning.

Wherever he goes we’ll gladly follow
Where he goes we’ll gladly follow
Where he goes we’ll gladly follow
Early in the morning.

Way-hey and on with rucksacks
Way-hey and on with rucksacks
Way-hey and on with rucksacks
Early in the morning.

We’re happy just to get a good walk somewhere
Happy just to get a good walk somewhere
Happy just to get a good walk somewhere
Early in the morning.

Way-hey and on with rucksacks
Way-hey and on with rucksacks
Way-hey and on with rucksacks
Early in the morning.

And he’ll naturally find a pub to end with
Naturally find a pub to end with
Naturally find a pub to end with
Later in the morning.

Way-hey and off with rucksacks
Way-hey and off with rucksacks
Way-hey and off with rucksa-a-a-acks
’til another morning.

Mr Fairweather

A timid old Rambler from Hunts

Avoided all rashness and stunts.

Indeed, when it snowed

He said, "I'll be blowed

If I'll go out in cold weather fronts."

By the Bard of Brampton

My boots are clean and shining bright.
I dream of walking day and night.
Since rambling got into my blood,
Oh, what is life without some mud?

Now I just stroll around the village.
No squelching fields with sodden tillage.
My boot hits tarmac with a thud.
Oh, what is life without some mud?

F. and Swann’s old friend, the hippo
Loved in muddy pools to dip. Oh,
How I yearn to cool the blood,
So what is life without some mud?

But wait, when we again can swarm
It will be summer, dry and warm.
No knee-deep mire, no river flood.
Perhaps I’ll cope without the mud.

To Those Who Lead

Our thanks to the few from the many

Who lead us up hill and round bend.

But we’ll bet you a pound to a penny

They’ll be first in the pub at the end.